Thoughts on motherhood

Saturday I babysat my little cuzzo Judah for the night while mommy was out doing her singing/networking thang. He was coming down from a bit of a sugar high and knowing that it would soon be his bedtime he was bouncing off the walls! But it wasn't long before he started calming down, eyes getting heavy, pj's were changed into, and teeth brushed. I love babysitting. Being the youngest of 5 leaves me without a little brother or sister so this is about as close as it gets. My love of children just keeps getting stronger every time. They are so incredibly smart and they teach me something new every visit.

The little guy couldn't remember my name and kept calling me mom. Which I thought was kind of hilarious- Ebby? Emily? Ebebe? Epodsaihowheudbwq??? We finally settled on just calling me "cousin" and that worked out fine. A few hours after bedtime he woke up and his real mommy was no where to be found and so he had a little freak-out. I assured him Mom will be back soon and to go back to sleep. I left the light on and went back into the living room. Okay actually I made a detour and toasted up a blueberry waffle and then I went back into the living room ;)

Maternal instinct, daydreaming, 'young girl' mentality- whatever you want to call it I can't help but think that in a few years... I will be a mom. I'll be the one needing a babysitter on weekends. I will have a home filled with things to teach, play, and care for a child. A child of my very own. Someone I can completely spoil with my love each and every day. This makes me really nervous yet still excited. But I guess I'm more hopeful for the future than anything.

Don't misunderstand me, I am in no rush. Absolutely no rush at all. I'm content waiting on God's timing. However, I do know in the back of my mind that the day I'm blessed with the responsibility of motherhood will come.  And nothing excites me more than the thought of that.

XOXOXO