Friday Letters

Dear extremely rude customers, 95% of your arguments are invalid. However, I refuse to let your bad attitude ruin my good days. I will not take it personally. I will not argue back. I will not lose my patience. I will continue to do my job and serve you with a smile. But could you please just take a breath and calm down? You're making all the other customers reaaally uncomfortable. Thanks and please come again! Dear green tea, I've been cheating on you with black tea.... and I think I love him. Dear legs, man oh man you have been getting some serious exercise! What are we up to? 10 miles since last Monday? And so far you're doing a great job of not making me feel like I wanna pass out. So thanks for that. You're getting stronger every time. Dear Pandora playlist, you've been filling me up with so much happy tingly feelings! Dear parents, lately I feel like I have your full attention. And that makes me feel so important. I feel like you care. Dear mean neighborhood boys, okay look. I know I look like I'm your age, but I am not. I am a grown woman and if you continue to harass me I am not afraid to knock on your mamas door and tell her all the names you think are so hilarious to shout at me. Dear F21, thanks for sending my package 3 days earlier than I expected!!! Your clothes may not always be fantastic quality but you've always had really fast shipping! Oh, and high-five for staying true to the pictures online! Dear Gabrielle Aplin, I wish I had a voice like yours. Dear bloggers, will one of you PLEASE take me apple picking with you?! There's literally nothing like that out here and you all make it sound so amazing. So until I receive my invite I'll be taking a trip 'apple picking' by myself at the grocery store down the street.