Scribbles and letter #3

***all from fall of 2012***

I know it’s wrong and goes against what I believe is the right thing to do. But apparently I am an idiot and need to learn things the hard way.
However, God always leads me in the right direction to figure things out and change my ways with enough time before self-destruction.
Why I continue to do this to myself I have no explanation other than I am NOT perfect. No matter how hard I try.
............................

Some friends aren’t meant to be in our lives forever.

No matter how much you want them to stay.
No matter how much you TRY to MAKE them stay.

...........................

I don’t like using such strong words, but right now I kind of hate you.

Not really. I’ve never actually hated anyone, much less you. I’m just really disappointed and really hurt.
REALLY hurt.

Letters #2

***from fall of 2012***

It was all fun giggles and butterflies in the beginning. But now? Now I want more. What you’re giving me is not enough. And since you’ve made it clear that you cannot give it to me, I want nothing to do with you. I have no problem turning the other way and leaving you behind completely. Yeah, I can be a grown up and be cordial with you… but there’s a side to me you'll never get to see again.
I warned you: I want you all to myself, or not at all.

Letters #1

***dated from over a year ago, sometime in early 2012***


Dear you,

Thanks for saving me the heartache.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss you. But then again the person you were and are now, the girl I was and am now, are NOT the same people. We both grew up, still growing up… And our lives are going in different directions. And I am okay with that. I know now that if we had gotten together, it would have had a negative impact on me. I don’t know how else to say this, but back then I was blinded by silly butterflies and in a way I kinda dodged a bullet with you. I feel like that sounds really mean because you’re not a bad person. Just bad for me. Outside of all that, you’ve been nothing but a real friend to me when I needed one. You and I haven’t spoken in a year or so. And like I said I do miss you, or should I say the person you were. I left on a bitter note, but all is forgiven… sorta. Nonetheless, I wish you all the best.

P.S. I still think we would’ve been cute together ;)