Sleep deprivation

Currently I am in the break room at work on my lunch break and though this leftover shrimp pasta is wonderful I am still feeling very much inspired to cry and break things.

I haven't been able to get must rest in the last few weeks- tossing and turning, insomnia,  early mornings... and last night was no exception.  I couldn't fall asleep until sometime between 6-630am and I was rudely awakened by my alarm at 10am so that I could be on time to work at 11am. 

I'm halfway through my shift (I'm closing tonight) and it has been SUCH a difficult day! I have zero patience but I make it a point to never be rude to customers.  Like the good employee that I am I continue to give 110% to my customers and my coworkers. (But on the inside I'm screaming at all of you)

On a positive note, I refreshed my hair color last night and talked to my boo for 3 hours :)

I can hardly wait to clock out. I'm literally falling asleep.  Plus I'm still feeling stuffy+sneezy.  (Drowsiness? ) so this is just not a very good day to mess with me. But like I said I'm halfway there. Trying to keep my optimism up!

If I don't check back in again tonight I'll talk to yall tomorrow! 

Cooties

Ello Ello Ello! 

So it's still flu season and I now have cooties. COOTIES PEOPLE!!! This sucks! Jesse was sick not long ago (his birthday week the poor thing!) And I thought I had dodged it. Alas, I have failed. I wouldn't blame it completely on him though. In the last month 3 different people have called in sick! One girl was out for a whole week!! My nose is stopped up on one side, runny on the other, I'm achy and tired, I sneeze every 12 minutes, I'm just plain sick. But at least it's only a head cold yknow?

Unfortunately I'm to scheduled to work a lot this weekend and I cannot afford to miss any hours. Whoever you are reading this I hope that you are not working a job where you depend so heavily on an itty bitty paycheck. It's not fun to have to work through 5-6 discomfort because that's the difference between eating and not eating. My diet as of late has consisted entirely of pb&j, mac & cheese, banana bread, candy, and pizza. I still can't understand how I made it to 21 eating garbage all day everyday. I may be thin but I'm likely the most unhealthy person in California. No wonder I'm sick...

At the moment it is 1239AM and although I don't have to clock in until 330PM I'm going to call it a night. OH! P.S. before I forget- I recently learned that I could use the blogger app on my phone (look at me getting all hip~) I'm going to try and blog something everyday that I can. I forgot about it yesterday because I'm a lil rusty! I can't promise to blog EVERY day but I will promise to blog as often as I can.

G'night everyone! Sweet dreams ♡

Long time no blog!

I admit I'm a terrible blogger, good things worth talking about finally happen to me and I disappear without a trace! I like to think I was pretty good at keeping this space updated and I loved having the freedom to express myself creatively.  What I miss the most about blogging is a safe space to speak my mind and be as transparent as I pleased.

I do miss writing. I have a million physical journals/diaries all over the place and my blog was that 1,000,001!  It's so great to be able to go back through my archives and see a snapshot of what was going on in my life (and in my mind) at the time.

I'm sure we're all sick of the 'new year new me' cliché BUT I'm going to annoy you all one more time! My life as of late is moving in a new positive direction and I couldn't be happier in this very moment!( well actually if I had some waffles+ice cream.....) This 'new me' didn't exactly have a start date. I sort of grew into this new Eboné. And I'm so excited about where she's gonna go and what she's gonna do!

I may not be very concise or very articulate (which if you've been with me for a while you've  already known) but I'm coming back to the blogging world and I have so much to share! All my old posts will stay right where they are! Feel free to peruse my archives till your hearts conent! I'll be just as open and honest as I was before, transparency is something that is very important to me. I'd be delighted to have you along with me on my journey through life ♡

I hope you're have a FANTASTIC start to 2015!

Sweat pants, hair tied, chillin with no makeup on...

 

Spent the entire day at a friends house earlier this week. Literally showed up in my pj's lookin a complete mess which I NEVER do. But we’re getting to be close friends so I thought why not, I’ll show another side of myself. It was really fun to just chill. We laughed a lot and I probably talked way too much during the movies hahaha! Also, I took a nap. Which made him tired and he took a nap too! (Real friends take naps together) Daft Punk was playing during nap time and I didn’t realize that they had made a movie type thing to go with the album?! But it was really cool. It’s a kind of spacey/futuristic anime/cartoon and I actually enjoyed following the story! Unusual but still pretty cool. Did I mention cookies? Because we baked some. Actually a better description is that I almost burned them. But no worries! They were saved! And they were pretty yummy if I say so myself. (And I do!)

As if my head wasn’t already fuzzy enough with wishful thinking and misguided feelings, all this touchy-feely crap between us has got to stop. It tricks my brain into thinking there could almost possibly maybe be something goin on when I know good and well that he does NOT have ‘feelings’ for me. Which is totally fine. Just because I have feelings for him does not mean that he is obligated to reciprocate those feelings. So for now I will enjoy the platonic-closeness…. Does that make sense? Idk I mean as confusing as it is in my head it makes sense.

Only time will tell, but I hope I’m not crossing some invisible boundary of friendship here. I probably am, because I always get a flash of “STOP THE MADNESS! HE DOES NOT WANT YOU!” in my head when I get all touchy feely with him. But I let it happen anyway. And I think it’s because this literally never happens to me. I mean, I never get to be affectionate towards anyone (outside of my family of course, and even with them it's rare) and yet here I have a willing participant. I have NO idea what’s running through HIS mind during these moments. I can only speak for myself. But darnit it feels good to get a taste of affection. Even if it’s almost entirely in my head. It feels great to show affection, even though I know it won't last much longer. At least I got to know what it feels like, just for a day.

List of current things

Making: a mess of my room. It’s in full craft/sewing room mode and there is stuff EVERYWHERE!
Cooking:  banana bread
Drinking: h20
Reading:  Attachments By Rainbow Rowell and I can’t seem to get very far. It’s not really catching my interest.
Wanting: $$$$$
Looking:  Forward to Christmas
Playing: The Civil Wars
Wasting: Time
Sewing:  Dress #2 for Motricia. Today I plan on finishing dress #1 (finally)
Wishing:  I was done with costumes…
Enjoying:  The new episodes of my favorite sitcoms. I’m so so so glad that the fall seasons are back on!!
Waiting: for cold weather. This back and forth 90-75 degree weather is NOT ideal.
Liking:  you
Wondering:  When I’ll get more hours at work.
Loving:  things that glow in the dark
Hoping: To visit my brother and sister in Idaho before December
Marveling: at the humanity and compassion of complete strangers
Needing:  more hours at work
Smelling:  B&BW salted caramel candles
Wearing:  onsie pj’s
Following:  more like stalking Ariana Grande
Noticing:  that I might be a little too obsessed with Ariana Grande
Knowing: that I’m actually completely obsessed with Ariana Grande
Thinking:  About the possibility of going back to school next year.
Feeling: Incompetent.