Sunday, June 22, 2014

I got one less problem without ya

Head in the clouds got no weight on my shoulders
I should be wiser and realize that I've got one less problem without ya

I've recently come to terms with my single-ness. Less sad and cynical. More carefree and optimistic. I used to be so envious of all my friends who were in relationships. It always seemed like being loved and being IN love was the end-all-be-all in life. I romanticized love and marriage to the point that I was actually making myself quite miserable sulking all the time about the lack of romance in my own life. Don't get me wrong it still is a very important aspect and I do want those things, but I'm not going to let that be the one singular thing that I focus on. I'll be 21 next month and let's face it, there are a million and one more important things that I should be concentrating on: bills, my health, career, hobbies, traveling, my own happiness in general. And with all the stressors in my life (again: career, bills, blahblahblah) do I really wanna add a relationship to the mix? NOPE.

To quote my girl Clem from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, "I'm just a messed-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours." Of course I'm paraphrasing but the point is clear. I need to be happy. I need to take care of myself. I need to just do my own thing. Not necessarily for anyone else, but for the simple fact that I need to be happy. If a guy comes along for the ride, cool. But I'm not going to add "find a mate" to my to-do list anytime soon. Ain't nobody got time fo dat. It's not like my biological clock is ticking.
Plus there's so many pros to being a free woman!
20 Perks of Being Single in Your 20s
1. You can travel anywhere without having to feel guilty about not bringing your partner.
2. You don’t have to explain why you came home late — even if the excuse is Taco Bell.
3. You don’t have to hide hanging out with other people from the opposite sex — especially coworkers.
4. You can save more money on literally everything.
5. You don’t feel obligated to share individual items, such as burritos.
6. You can keep your house as clean or as messy as you desire without being judged.
7. You can go out and exchange numbers with anyone, anytime and anywhere.
8. You don’t need to befriend another set of weird dancing family members — your own set is plenty.
9. You don’t have to engage in awkward conversations with your partner’s annoying and obnoxious friends.
10. You need not participate in checkpoint conversations throughout the day.
11. You can storm out of the room and literally leave town without owing an explanation.
12. You can pick up weird new hobbies, such as fencing, without being judged.
13. At least physically, you won’t let yourself go because you’ll be consistently working against “the competition.”
14. You can focus on your career and maybe even move to new cities or countries to pursue a better job.
15. You can spend as much time as you want with your friends without feeling guilty.
16. You can have adventures with new people without having to explain the story about how you met.
17. You can buy cool gifts for yourself instead of pretending to “want” to buy something for your partner.
18. You don’t have to share party favors and your six-pack will remain in the fridge, untouched, after the bar.
19. You don’t have to deal with weird introductions to your family or your mother’s judging glare.
20. You don’t have to be anybody beside yourself and you are free to figure out who that is, however and whenever you want.
 (list from author Lydia Taffera)

 My time and my decisions are my own. No plans! No obligations! I can spend thins time growing closer to my friends and family. I can spend my time doing everything I ever wanted to do for myself or I can do nothing at all. That's not to say that you cannot make your own decisions and have your freedom while in a relationship, you absolutely can! But there are certain obligations you have to your partner and vice versa.  And while I'm sure being with someone is wonderful, there's nothing quite like being a free woman.

Yes, I am single. But now... I'm starting to think that's okay.

No comments:

Post a Comment