Monday, September 16, 2013

Dear no one,

Monday, September 16: Write a public love letter to someone in your life.

Dear whoever you are,

I've written you letters in the past. I think the first time I wrote to you I was like 9. Don't get your hopes up though, it's nothing like The Notebook... just a few over the years really. I plan to one day give them to you. Unless I'm too embarrassed by then in which case you will never see them. But I do think of you at times. Like any girl when I see a happy couple, a cute movie, or hear love songs on the radio, the thought of you crosses my mind. "Who is he? Where is he right now? What kind of life does he lead? Will he fit in with my family?" And I proceed to daydream for the next 300 hours. When I was in middle school and high school I would feel a pang of teenage heart ache because everyone I knew seemed to be in what you call 'puppy love' and I've not yet found you. Or perhaps you haven't found me? These days I don't feel that way anymore. Sure I get really lonely- I'm only human and there's nothing wrong with wanting to be with somebody. But I've grown up a lot in the last few years and while I am still growing and maturing I've learned quite a bit.

The most important thing is that I truly believe that you are out there somewhere. I'm not 'forever alone.' God would not have put such a strong desire for marriage and a family of my own in my heart if he knew there was no one out there who would love me. I mean c'mon. What is there, like 6 billion people on the planet?! I know there's at least ONE with my name stamped on his heart, it's only a matter of time. 

Second is the time. I'm sure you know that our timing is important, but that's not what I mean. When I was little I always thought about my Prince Charming coming off a white horse to save me from a miserable and dull life like Cinderella and turn me into a Princess and carry me away (who didn't?) But I realize now that instead of moping around waiting for 'Prince Charming' wasting my time daydreaming, I could do something with my life. I'm using this time in my life not to paint pictures of the perfect man, but to build myself into the perfect woman. Taking as much time for myself as I need becoming closer to God, building strength, self-confidence and a much deeper faith. Really enjoying my family and friends, learning new things, getting out of my comfort zone, building a career, saving all my money and then blowing it all in one day, traveling, and running around doing any and everything that makes me happy. So Yes, I am waiting patiently for you... but I refuse to be idle. And yes, I still believe in the fairytale. Always will.

Next is to not idealize you. It's very easy to idealize and even idolize what is essentially an imaginary person to the point that there are no room for flaws. I don't wanna be searching for you in every new guy I meet. And I don't wanna miss out on love because I have a stupid image in my head with a checklist of all the things you should do and who you should be. I'm gonna love you the way God's made you, simple as that. It's always fun to imagine, but I know better than to get carried away.

As annoying and cliche as it is, our paths will cross when it's time. Nobody likes to hear this. I don't even like to hear this. In fact to be completely honest it always goes in one ear and out the other! But when the time is right and we are two people... each a complete person ready to join together with another complete person, God will put you and I in the situation to find one another. No rushing, no amount of wishing or searching or dating, nothing I do will bring you here to me any sooner. I've accepted that. I've embraced that. With that being said when God puts it on my heart, I continue to pray for you. Wherever you are in this crazy beautiful world I hope that you are patiently waiting for me too. Hopefully you're taking this time to grow into the young man God has called you to be, not for me... but for yourself.

All my love.

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